False Positives: Chapter Fourteen
I skipped over 11 and 13, but I’ll circle back ;)
I spent the weekend focusing all of my energy toward a growth mindset. Toward a post traumatic growth mindset to be precise.
We all spent the weekend watching the world flip upside down for the Ukraine while a majority of the world stood up and are continuing to stand up for them. I won’t recap all that happened, but I know you know. I just prayed with a Priest on Tik Tok who is there, offering to pray with people. On Tik Tok. A Catholic Priest.
I’m not Catholic. I do say a prayer when a 90 year old is on social media and says, “Will you pray with me” ’cause I do respect my elders. Betty White is sending Anonymous to feck up some stuff in all the right places.
The power of a collective energy is upon us.
I don’t say, “let’s all be positive” ~ I fully believe that we all, “let’s keep it powerful”.
It wasn’t positivity that helped me to heal from trauma. It was power. Powerful positive and negative vibes in balance.
A little while ago~ some lady on a Facebook page for rescue kittens just tried to encourage another woman who rescued a pregnant cat ~ to quickly take the pregnant cat to the vet to spay her, aborting the kittens. Another one also encouraged it. To them, pregnant cats are the hill they are willing to die on.
When I suggested to the OG that there are loads of rescues (I named several) and fosters, willing to take the mama in until the kits were born, the other lady decided to jump on MY suggestion with a lecture.
I never quite get that but it seems in the land of Facebook, strangers LOVE to comment until they have the last word.
Even when they are being belligerent, condescending, or toxic, they HAVE to add in laugh emojis and anything else to bait people into arguing with them.
It used to take me a REALLy long time to figure out why people did this. Once upon a time at the height of my post traumatic stress, this little toxic manuveur drove me nuts. I took the bait. I rarely want to say, “Okay karen” but seriously … even those of us named karen are feelin’ it these days. It’s not a mature response though, so … I didn’t.
It is entirely TOO much like domestic violence and trauma based verbal abuse to just sit there and do nothing.
Well, actually yes to the similarities and no to the doing nothing.
Doing nothing (gray rocking as Dr. Ramani calls it) is the healthier way to handle it when people are trying to pick a fight with you.
There is NO reason for anyone doing this for one thing.
We don’t have to be right for another.
As a matter of fact, some people have to be right SO much, they are willing to go to the end of the earth to prove that they are right. And, that they know more than you.
Once upon a time, that triggered me like nothing else.
After a lot of conscious self healing, meditation, trauma informed mental health care, and mindfulness ~ I stopped attaching to the triggers.
Now, in order to stay happy, I let a lot of shite go. Just like the Frozen song. Singing is power.
Now, in order to stay positive, I also welcome the negative to sit a spell, and teach me what needs to be healed. Mindfulness is power.
Now, I choose not to engage with any of it or any of them. She had her last snarky LOL emoji comment ~ and I walked away, focused on the bigger issues.
Praying for the people of the Ukraine is our #1 priority right now.
Once upon a time, I would have ruminated on it for far too long. Today, I’m using it as a teaching tool. Learning the self is power.
Along with the realization that in some people’s world, they are right. They are SO right. They will correct you until you don’t even speak any more and they will be he// bent on making sure that you know that they are right. Knowledge is power.
When you want mental health freedom, you shrug it off, walk away and realize that YOU are the happier for it. Being able to sit with our uncomfortable feelings ~ is power.
When people are determined to think what they do, there is no way out, but through.
This is for everything we do, be it saving the world or saving a pregnant cat.
IMO, and in that moment, my own FB profile picture is of my foster/rescue cat who happens to be the BEST cat ever (along with all the other beloved fur babies I’ve ever fostered, or rescued. In other news, in this neck of the woods, they do in fact (many of the rescues and volunteers) don’t fix their cats ~ they DO let them roam around outside, then they get angry at the epidemic of pregnancy, so … kill the kittens. ’cause there are too many of them.
NOT a great solution.
Neither is war.
But healing and mental health ~ now that is something each of us can work on in the moment.
To all involved ~ I hope you are safe and healthy.
We can continue to bicker with people we don’t know, over stupid stuff that we don’t really care about online ~ OR, we can give ALL of our energy to the growth of love, light and the healing of our global citizens in peril.
I’m choosing love. Hate never got us anywhere.
To the people of Ukraine ~ sending ALL of my social media space and prayers in your direction.
Toxic cat ladies? Seriously?