False Positives: Chapter Eighteen
I’ve been at this for three months now. (Writing) Off and on, I’ve changed my mind. Writing time is precious. It feels like a newborn. Moving from one job to a full time writer means ~ be prepared for all the feels ~ all of them.
Beating back the demon critics in my head? That’s a whole other thing.
When you decide to become a full time writer, you have to go where the money flows.
Writing as a dream job, with an effortless “love what you do, do what you love” mantra ~ is only sort of true.
You believe it to be true, so it is true. Right? Wrong. Manifesting something into existence, also takes all of your time and attention. You don’t just wake up one day, magically changed for the better. Your entire body, mind and wallet are tired. You give up a lot, and sacrifice more.
Working toward the goal is the only truth.
You want something to happen so you put in the time. Sure, the mindset has to be one that believes it’s going to happen, but then, the rest of your brain has to follow along.
There’s a LOT of “positivity” out there, which is nice, but it’s not going to cure disease of the mind, body or spirit. It makes for a good meme on Pinterest though. I love Pinterest. It makes me happy. Brain storm fields forever. The positivity memes though? Drive me nuts.
Being in a negative headspace has benefits. It’s where we heal.
Being angry is a great motivator, for example. Feeling rage, then throwing that energy into a project that takes you out of a toxic or negative situation is as empowering as feeling deliriously happy about something.
Energy is energy. It doesn’t have a negative or positive.
Ok, technically, it does have a negative or positive charge (science). :)
Is it the change you wanted?
The slap heard ‘round the world was a decision. An impulsive one? Probably. It created a ripple effect of change, didn’t it? That’s pretty calculated.
Some of us are old school and remember when those fiesty celebrities were young. They had a beef with each other then. They have it now. Was there a mental health issue at play? Absolutely.
Is it sad that it’s caused such a ruckus? Sort of yes. Sort of no. Everyone is at the end of their rope when it comes to the pandemic, and the very publicized war, where everyone is feeling helpless.
Helplessness is a strong emotion. Helpless is not hopeless.
There is a lot of hope in conversations opening up.
It’s one of the rare emotions that we can feel in both our bodies and our minds. Is it giving up? No. Emotions are so overpowering, it breaks us down.
This is when a good serge of negative energy can actually fuel us up to create the change we want to see in the world.
Think about it. An entire country is under fire for over a month now (yes, I know there are other places suffering too). They are furious, hurt, scared, and getting killed. Death is all around them. So is terror.
To keep their country (what’s left of it), they either have to stay in a heightened state of fury and rage, or, they have to give in to a psychopath dictator who would kill them all anyway.
What choice do they have.
The strength it takes to keep fighting for your literal life is exhausting. That’s when the ‘positive psychology’ steps in. The grit and resilience is heroic. However, the humanist movement did just about the same thing, so a debate is happening.
An epic level of awe is needed to believe whole heartedly that you will take your life back from an invader.
On a much smaller scale, your work life, home life, family life, social life are all teetering on your inner strength to keep you going.
There are some people who have no idea what that strength looks or feels like. Their lives are … taken care of. I used to have friends who were “ladies who lunch” ~ people who were totally blind to hardship. They never experienced it. They made a lot of assumptions about it. They gave to charities and meant well. But when it came right down to being open to hard conversations about it?
Not a clue.
Ironically, that happened in so many of the social media professional pages too. Which is wild, considering, some of those people were top tier (self made famous and inherited famous-by-proxy) psychology practitioner scholars.
Clueless about what living through struggle and hardship was about. They just … studied it.
Talk about falsely thinking that your positivity was the end all, know all.
When you wake up every day knowing that your life is going to be hard, no matter how hard you try to move into a better life, you become numb to the hardness. Eventually, you become hard. Then, you miss out on the comforts afforded to others.
The thing is, no matter how much money, beauty, advantage, privilege, or connection you have ~ if you are not mentally all-in ~ you will never achieve that dream life you want.
This really frucks things up if you also battle a mental health crisis. It’s super hard when your biggest challenge lives inside your own head. That rent is far too high to pay.
In order for someone to really make a significant move toward a positive ~ you HAVE to ignore the flood gate of positivity swamp that people are trying to drown you in.
That only serves when you are already feeling good about where you are and who you are.
Until then, leverage all those wonderful negative emotions toward fueling the fire to get it done.
There is no such thing as “negativity” or “positivity” ~ we are a whole person with a whole range of emotions that all have a significant place in our lives. Each emotion is teaching us something we need to listen to.
To ignore any of it, is to ignore a piece of ourselves.
I’m off to write over on UpWork and open a new offer on Fiverr. I’m also lined up to write a 1,000 word piece for a private contract, then on to my blog on Happiness Noir dot com. My email, inkhoneypub@gmail seems to be my writer name on those. My social media (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter) are all @InkHoneyPub ~ named for my cats, Ink & Honey. My TikTok is @ink1925 since some dude stole my moniker. :/ As creepy dudes do. :(
Looks sort of like a porn name LOL “Ink Honey” ~ like a writer porn name. If we’re not laughing, we’re wasting our time.
I’m also a holistic healer & guide through a mental health lens. Laughter is my cure all.
My hashtag? #MustLoveLaughter if people were a hashtag, that is.
After that, I’ll edit my 185 page book for the last run through, then, if my brain still works, I’ll pop off a few 500 word blogs and two more 1500 word entries for the two Kindle Vellas I have running right now under my pen name KH Miller (The Dreamer Chronicles and Ashes to Aether). They could use some thumbs up and likes … just sayin’
Eventually, after about a ten hour day, I’ll hang with my cats and maybe, if I have time, I’ll sift through my social media to see if any of it can make me laugh.
I’m not interested in all the negativity there ~ and whew! There is a lot of it. Toxic to the core~ Tik Tok has some great content creators, but I have zero interest in the toxic banter that goes on.
*Maybe teaching undergrads the power of psych 101 was a better gig after all. It was boring, but it was a paycheck. (see? Now THAT is negative!)*
I guess there is a negative that is useless. And … a bunch of positives that are intentionally part of my vibe tribe.
It’s true in life as a whole. What we give our attention to, is what shows up. We have to purposefully sift through the rubbish to get to the good stuff. It’s worth it.
Writers … what do you do to keep up the good energy?
OR … are you someone who is fueled by the conflict and drama? Both work.
That’s the irony.
They have the same amount of energy. They just don’t leave the same amount of energy.
We have to choose all of it.
As far as writing for a living goes ~ with the number of people out there stealing our work for the pirate sites … those feckers … it’s a hard knock life, for us.
Okay, enough out of me and my blatent self promotion.
I hope your writing day is productive, badassery filled with lots and lots of great words that bring you joy.
There is no better feeling than wordsmith gold.